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September 21, 2008

think about it..

'seriously, you need to find a guy, i think, dat if you like someone it keeps you looking forward to something so you can be happy'

a quote from a friend of mine who's name i keep anonymous..( you know who you are)

you would have guessed, i'm not satisfied with my life ryt now.
it's the down part, i'm feeling upset,and i feel something's missing but i don't seem to know what it is.
few of my friends say it's 'love' is it really?
do i need someone to be happy with?
i would like too, but do i want to?

my love life has jealousy in it, but the person i'm jealous of means the world to me
shes like my other half to me. my saviour, my advisor
partly my everything, my noble loyal trusted friend
but i'm jealous of her, for what?
cuz in my eyes i see her life shines better than mine in some ways.
i ask why is my life like this?
why do i make it like this?

to be honest, i'm worried abt my future.
if i end up alone, cuz to alot of people i am hated becuase of what was said about me, but nothing more. they don't even know me even and yet they judge me to some extend that the word spreads and in the end everyone despises me.
im lonely, and hurt
sure i am, but i'm happy too.

some people will hate me
some people will love me

it's either those too, atleast hate or love, nothing in the middle.
people seem to be so sure judging abt me whether they will love me or hate me, just by looking at me they know already.
my life is then not so settled. because people judge me straight away, it hurts it does.
it fucking does okay.
yes i'm loud
yes i'm annoying but what am i supposed to do?
if you want me to change for you
it makes me feel that being myself
i will never feel accepted to anyone. which brings me down.

life has it ways
and so does people.i'm happy in terms i have friends who accept me
and being accepted is one thing, i'd do anything for.
but i wont change beacuse of what i am,

i want to be accpeted for who i am.
why is that so hard?

11;11pm, i made a wish.
i'm sure you can guess what it is.

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